Crazy? Probably.

I really need to have my head examined. No really. I need to have my head examined. You see, a couple of weeks ago I had a few cysts removed from my scalp. Not a big deal except that my hair had stopped growing in that spot. So my hairdresser/friend said it was time. The procedure was not as bad as I had expected, really. The stitches in my head were the pits, though. They itched and pulled and were terribly uncomfortable. This is also the first time that I have ever had stitches that did not relate to an incision in my lower abdomen. I guess the other pain surpassed the stitches, so I did not notice. I digress. Anyway... I was due to have the stitches out today. Whoo! Hooo!! I could not wait. The doctor that I see is in Zachary, LA which for those of you unfamiliar with the area is right outside of Baton Rouge (almost 2 hours away). Normally I love going with my friend to Baton Rouge to shop after the appointment, and I thought that might be what we could do today. She, however, had things to do, so she could not accompany me. That left Lu and I to venture on our own. Well, I don't know B.R. well enough to drive there and shop on my own, so I decided that I would cancel the appt (driving almost 2 hours with a 2 yr old only to have a few stitches removed and drive almost 2 hours back did not sound like my idea of fun!). I told the receptionist that I would have a nurse here in town take out the stitches.

Well, last night the stitches were really bothering me, so I decided to get Brandt to take them out for me. I mean how hard could it be right? I sterilized a pair of scissors and tweezers. I don't want infections, you know! I broached the subject with my dear sweet husband. Here is how the conversation went:

Me: "Brandt, do you feel like doing a little surgery?" I figured he'd jump at the opportunity. BTW he was watching some animated show when I asked.

B: "What?" I repeated the question. "I thought you were doing that tomorrow." I gave him my rationale for needing it done now. "Can't Janee (my friend) do that for you?"

Me: "She said she would but not until tomorrow, and I want them out now."

B: "Wait until this is over. I have been waiting a week to watch this show."

Me: I happily and patiently wait for the show to end and try not to think about the fact that I have offered my husband a chance to be intimately close to my head with scissors and tweezers. I suppose I really do trust him. The show finally finished and he suggested that we go to the bathroom where the light was better. I sat myself on the toilet and said, "Try not to hurt me or cut too much hair."

B: "You really want me to do this?"

Me: "Yes!"

He begins to work, but is having a hard time with the scissors that I had given him. After a few minutes he gives up and tells me to wait until tomorrow. Well, those of you that know me know that I don't give up too easily. I proceeded to find him another pair of scissors, sterilized them and got him back into the bathroom.

B: "I can't do this. It is harder than it looks."

Me: "How hard can it be. You snip the stitch and pull out the thread -- easy!"

B: "It's not that simple. The stitches are tied on like you tie up a roast."

Me: "What??!! How do you know?"

B: "Because I watch Alton (Brown off of Good Eats -- B's favorite cooking show). "

Me: "You're crazy. It is not."

B: "I'm serious. Your head looks just like a piece of meat that has been tied up."

Me: "Well, how would Alton remove the string from the meat?" At this point I think that he went on to explain how it all worked while I sat there holding my hand out to catch the stitches that he was pulling out of my head and the small clumps of hair that came with them. He finally finished and said.

"Ok, that's all I can do. This is really grossing me out. I think that I left one or two in, but I did what I could."

I really could not feel anymore stitches. It was very tender, but the pulling that I was feeling was relieved. I went to see my friend Janee today who was going to finish what Brandt could not get to, but surprisingly, there was only one little piece of thread that she found. She said that he'd done a really good job and that it did not look like there was too much hair lost in the process.

I guess that all he really needed to do was to relate it to something that he knew about. I really do have a wonderful husband. He is a great teacher, priest, cook, and now nurse. What more could a girl ask for! Thanks, honey-- Love you!